Sunday, June 22, 2014

What??? He's doing treatment now?!?

The answer to the title's question is, YES.

It's called Stereotactic Radiosurgery & you can look it up if you want to learn more about it.  

A little over a week ago Mark woke up and decided to go ahead with the offered targeted radiation therapy on the big tumor in his brain.  We were staring down the barrel of another month or two and it was quite obvious that Mark was slipping into increasing fatigue and lethargy.  He didn't feel like God was leading him, for certain, one way or another on the he just made the decision.  I'm glad he did.  Because barring divine intervention and miraculous healing, this cancer will take my husband...and I'd rather LATER than sooner, of course.  Any time this radiation can buy us is time we'll take!  We are hoping and praying that the 5 treatments will do their thing and slow or stop the growth...or kill the tumor entirely.  There is still the matter of the other 5 tumors in his body but the brain one is the one that will kill him quickly.  I'm glad he chose the treatment.  

As to the emotional side of this, for ME, it feels like we're in a holding pattern.  Just circling.  I need to try and live a little more normally but I don't know quite how to do that.  How much of this is coping, shutting down, protecting???  I don't know.  I do keep my journal and count my BLESSINGS in my journal of gratefulness.  I am keeping track of this journey.  I am treasuring the GOOD STUFF and trying to hold on to those things that bring hope and promise.  

I'll admit I've been a little, or a LOT, grumpy and irritable this past week.  This morning I think I got that straightened out with God.  I wasn't taking the proper time to be grateful and thankful.  I was focusing on the negative.  It's easy to do...that Negative wants to swallow you up whole and eat you alive.  It takes a concerted effort to find and hold on to JOY.  The joy is there...  the deeper the pain, the greater the joy.  I think that's true.  At lease I am going to explore that thought a little looking for the joy in each day.

One major blessing is that Mark is not in pain.  He is still taking steroids and other than the fatigue he is doing okay.  We still have not been approved for Mark's disability leave.  I have no idea why it's taking them so long. Seems a little ridiculous.  Or a LOT ridiculous, considering. 

Mark's Dad is here for 2 weeks, visiting from the Czech Republic, where he lives.  It's been nice to have more family in town!  My parents came this weekend and that was a joy!  My Dad (Ron) and my FIL put new siding on the front entry.  Talk about something that makes ME happy!!!  They did a wonderful job and now I need to paint it.  No more embarrassment when people come over.  There are so many little (or big) projects like this that Mark can no longer do.  He's doing well to make it upstairs and to sit out and watch the kids for a while.  

My honey is no longer capable of the "Honey DO" these days!  :-(   He's pretty much capable of doing anything which is one of the things I've always loved about him.  He's a brilliant fellow in so many regards.

I also want to thank all who have given to us.  From our friends and family we've had monetary donations, offers galore, cards, special gifts via mail, & more.  Our family has done SO MUCH for us!  We are HUMBLED and SO VERY THANKFUL for each and every person who is praying, giving, and LOVING us from near or far!  THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!  

I am planning to get out actual thank you cards in the mail one of these days.  There is no way I can fully express the love we feel from all of you.  Bless each and every one!  

We've been trying to capture as much fun and family time as Mark's energy will allow!  
Rowing around at Two River's Park 
 Avi and Libby ready for the filming of their movie.  The kids have had to get really creative with all our home time and they have done a tremendous job of being adaptable and good natured!
 Esther had to go it alone.  Thankfully we had a lead line, just in case.
 How I spend my quiet mornings if I get up before anyone else.  I sit by the pond and journal and read.  It sure helps keep me focused on what's important and it's essential to keep me feeling at peace!
 Father and Son...My Two Favorite Guys!
Papa and Libby at the River
Papa and Libby ready for their date.
at Happy Tummy on the West Side.  It used to be one of Mark and my fave places when we lived in Mukilteo.  We did a lot of little side trips to reminisce and share our special places with the kids.  We went to the beach at Mukilteo then out to lunch.  It was a fun and memorable day for all!

Mark and Avigail on their special date.

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